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Sunday, January 22, 2012

Home Alone

Now I love my husband.  He is tall, dark, and handsome; intelligent, talented, artistic, completely without pretension, and kind.  None of this however, diminishes the pleasure of having him go away hunting with the boys for a couple days.  As my father used to always say, "Even the happiest of couples at some point are just glorified room mates".  And man!  It is great to have the room mate vacate the house for a minute!  Once again I do not in anyway dislike my husband, love him dearly and am lucky enough to enjoy him as a best friend as well but there is something so restful, for me at least, in solitude. 
 We of course live at the end of a dead end road surrounded by mainly timber tracts so the abscence of man made sounds is particularly strong here, sometimes I can hear a train in the distance but otherwise it's just the forest and farm.  For my mood the weather has been wonderfully apropo; thunderstorms rolled through all day yesterday and today the woods are muted, dripping, the kind of woods it would be easy to get lost in with the featureless gray sky above.  There is a stillness about everything, a resting of sorts, I always think I can almost feel the trees napping around me.  Most of the time they are so busy converting the gift of sunshine and building their bodies but today, today they can take a long drink and think of spring fast approaching.  Down here in the south it has been the warmest and wettest of winters.  Mother Nature has forced some bulbs right in my garden as a matter of fact and a few paper whites are already blooming.
Having the house to myself has meant rest for me as well.  My chores are through in an hour and then if I so chose I could sit all day listening to the wood symphony, or read a book, or play on my blog, or whatever I want!  And I'm not even a stay at home mom or anything, I don't have specific cooking duties and the like, but, when you live with another person, any person, there is more of a plan and of course a sharing of your time and energies.  Are we going to complete such and such task today?  What are we going to eat for dinner tonight?  I've barely eaten since he left, certainly not in whole meals.  A little snack here a little nibble there, no dishes no fuss, whatever was on hand when I felt hungry.  When I felt like it I made myself scones and have been grazing off those quite a bit; lavender honey and cranberry orange, and I found a recipe for faux clotted cream that wasn't half bad.  Last night I had a small salad and fish dinner, once again no fuss and easy clean up.  Not that dinner is always an affair for us nor was everything so simple everyday when I lived alone, but to have a moment of simplicity and privacy in the midst of cohabitation has been sheer bliss.
Our house in particular makes alone time that much sweeter as it is only 340 sq. ft. meaning at any given moment when we are both in the house, we are probably close enough to touch.  And that's not even including when the dog and two cats decide to come inside.  When I got home from Christmas with the family, there was a sick chicken in the bathroom that had to be moved in and out anytime you wanted to go in there, rough.  And I really enjoy my alone time.  I have lived alone several times and all other things being equal, enjoyed it very much.  Now I enjoy living with another human but have no expectation of every not enjoying my own company.  A good friend once told me that she thought one of the things to bear in mind when deciding to cohabitate with someone is that when we live seperately and are first falling in love and getting to know one another we spend all our time trying to figure out ways to be together but once we do live together it's just as important to remember to find times to be alone.  And I would add to not feel guilty about it, to not think that this somehow makes you and your partner incompatible or unsuited for one another.  I find that the time I have to be with my own mind and move with my own whims makes me a stronger, more balanced individual which means I can then be part of a stronger, more balanced partnership.
In short, I cherish and appreciate my partner and love the chance to welcome him home after some nice quiet alone time at the end of the road.

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